CONSCIOUSLY CURATED CONTENT
In an age of overstimulation, focusing on the essential can be elusive. I explore the intersection of conscious leadership, mindfulness + spirituality to enable overall health and wellbeing.
The Reality: the (Rat) Race
I soon realized with this insatiable desire for MORE, the reach for the top was always in sight but always just out of reach.
Constantly reaching for an exponential and unattainable goal kept me from being at peace with myself. I was constantly chasing the “dangling carrots” of more praise, more accomplishment, more recognition and more money. I was filling myself up on these false substitutes for happiness, and never getting full.
Maybe you can relate?
More importantly this “race to the top” and myopic focus on financial gain alone led to company decisions that were based on selfish personal gain and often led to unethical behavior.
Company parties and booze-infused networking events often resulted in extra-marital shenanigans; we promised “the world” to the clients at the pitch meeting to win the deal, but the delivery didn’t always add up.
It was easy to get swept up in all this. I mean everyone else was doing it so...
After the boat docked the party continued. We landed with happy hour and hours later we closed the bar. We then continued at a colleague’s home nearby and needless to say the sun- and booze-filled day left me dehydrated. At some ungodly hour I was vomiting over my colleague’s kitchen sink with another colleague holding my hair. Was this “the top”?
The “highs” of winning big deals and getting promotions, even these reckless nights out on the company dime meant nothing compared to the “lows” of a deep inner knowing that something was really wrong. I had come to truly care for my colleagues and clients. I could see this pressure to reach the top and the “short cuts” they’d been taking to get there was taking a toll on them. I could tell because it took a toll on me. I wasn’t sleeping well. I spent weekends drinking and doing recreational drugs, and filling my time with never-ending plans and to dos. I worked hard to numb that inner knowing because I wasn’t ready to accept that my whole life I had been in a race to “the top”, a top that in fact didn’t exist.
I did, fortunately, have my regular yoga practice, one I started in high school and had luckily kept up over the years. Yoga grounded me in self-inquiry. It was during my yoga practice I had a glimpse into something more than this race to the top. In these moments of being with the present and being with myself, I could hear and feel this inner knowing.
I started to listen.
Elevating Consciousness: Living Truth
Meanwhile, my partner João and I got engaged and in considering a location for our destination wedding we took an exploratory trip to João’s native Azores Islands. Even though I had traveled to nearly 40 countries, I had never seen a place so rich in natural beauty, culture and delectable fresh cuisine.
After that trip I came home from a tough day at work and felt the harsh reality of the world (prison) I had created. I felt so defeated. I had worked hard to build something I now didn’t believe in nor want to be a part of. I didn’t need the country club membership or the house on the Cape. And I certainly didn’t need the miserable life (broken marriages and substance abuse) that went along with it all. There had to be another way.
After hearing me complain for the umpteenth time about all this João asked me, “So what makes you feel complete? What gives meaning to every day?”
The conversations that followed in those 18 months leading up to the wedding turned our wedding planning trip into a life planning trip and is where the story of MINUVIDA begins…
Questions to you dear reader: