Mindful leader -> center yourself

The angry email from a colleague felt like a knife in my gut. We had disagreed on the best way to handle a difficult client situation and all I could focus on was every word of his scathing email and all the ways I would respond (and not the client problem). 

As leaders we face challenges like everyone else, but how we handle them and conduct ourselves has a ripple effect on our team and business. It’s critical to stay centered but sometimes the rock that lands in our pond is so big the ripples throw us way off. Here are three ways to come back to your center, to lead mindfully. 

1
Grounding
While sitting in your chair allow your feet to be flat on the ground. Relax your arms and shoulders and place your hands in your lap. Start to feel the chair underneath you. Feel the ground under your feet. Wiggle your toes a bit. Take a deep breath and feel that you’re sending your awareness down into the ground. With every exhale feel yourself softening a bit into the support of the chair and floor. Feel whatever intensity you’re experiencing flow out through your feet into the ground. Allow yourself to sit up tall but relax your feet, legs, belly, shoulders, jaw. Take a few more breaths here and allow yourself to ground down into the earth and recharge.

Why it works
If electricity isn’t grounded, there’s a chance for an electrical surge and a frying of your system. In the same way we can get “electric” with intense emotions. When we consciously feel the chair underneath us and the ground under our feet we are “grounding” this intense energy. Emotion is just “energy in motion” and the ability to send your attention down and relax the body allows your energy to ground and for you to find the center.


2
Orienting
Take a look around the room, slowly. Inhale, look to your right; notice the texture and color of what you’re seeing, notice what you smell or hear. Then slowly exhale as you move your head slowly and look to the left. Take in all that you’re seeing but stay focused on your breath. Just observe, no judging of what is good or bad, or what needs organizing or fixing. Just noticing. What do you hear? Inhale slowly turning toward the center and then looking up, noticing what’s above you. Then exhale, looking down noticing what you’re wearing, the texture and material of the floor. Continue in this way a few more breaths, looking around, orienting yourself to your space, taking in the sights, textures, smells and sounds as you anchor in your breath, and this present moment. 

Why it works
The thalamus is the part of our brain that takes in sights, smells and sensory input and decodes them to signal safety or danger to our nervous system. When we automatically slam on the brakes before we realize we’ve nearly slammed into the car that just stopped in front of us for example, it’s the rapid-fire signal of the thalamus to the amygdala (fear center of the brain) that causes this swift response. That fear signal is so strong, however, that when we are stressed, whether it be an email, anxiety about the future or replaying the past, our nervous system reacts in the same way as if we were about to crash, and we go into fight or flight mode. Orienting calms the nervous system by using the senses to send signals of safety to our nervous system, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system response, i.e slowing down the heart-rate, releasing serotonin, relaxing the muscles and continuing digestion.

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​3
Hands to Heart-Belly
Sitting comfortably with feet on the ground or legs crossed, bring your left hand to the center of your chest and the right hand to your belly just above the belly button with shoulders relaxed and neck soft. Take a deep breath in and feel your chest rise and expand and as you exhale gently press your hand into your chest to expel the air completely out. On your next inhale breathe further down and maybe your belly expands with this deeper abdominal breath (if you don’t feel your belly expand just imagine your breath moving down and have the intention of expansion). As you exhale feel your belly soften and gently press the hand into your belly to feel a complete exhale. Take a few more breaths this way, alternating between feeling the chest and back of heart expanding, and then the belly and lower back. Breathing in and out through the nose if possible and then slowly start to lengthen the exhale, i.e. spend more time exhaling than inhaling.

Why it works
The autonomic nervous system is the part of our nervous system that controls automatic functions like our heartbeat, our body temperature, digestion and breathing. These things happen automatically in response to what’s happening around us; however, when we are stressed our body reacts just like it was under a serious physical threat. Breathing, is one of the ways we can access our autonomic nervous system and consciously activate a calming response. The other way is touch. When we place our hands on our chest and belly and consciously breathe into different places while feeling our breath, we are using two of the “ways in” to our nervous system to find balance. We are also stimulating the vagus nerve, which connects the brain to our heart, lungs and stomach and is responsible for calming the nervous system. ​​